My eldest sister (34, not 87 mind you) is hosting a Tupperware Party. That's right: A Tupperware Party. Better break out your dancin' shoes!
For those of you unfamiliar, such a party consists of a roomful of women, usually middle-aged, sitting around squawking while they look at catalogs and samples of whatever the party product is. Then, it's totally obligatory for all attendees to buy something, even if they don't want to spend $14.50 on ridiculousness like the Cereal Storer. Why let expensive cereal go stale? (Er, isn't the box it comes in the cereal storer?)*
Disclaimer: This summary is comprised of speculation, (extremely brief) research and word of mouth. I have no firsthand knowledge of what such an event entails.
GASP. I just found this picture:
PS: You must be outfitted in pastels and a cardigan to attend. (Don't you dare wear a primary color or I'll fuck your shit up...bitch.)
Waaaiiiit! Oh dear God, I just went to the Tupperware website. The unintentional comedy is off the charts:
"Looking for more fun in your life? Why not host a Tupperware party! It's a great way to unwind and spend quality time with your friends."Hey, I'm always looking for more fun in my life. Why not indeed? After all, I had no idea one could forge meaningful connections over plastic containers.
"A Taste of Tupperware - the new party experience!Flavors? Taste? I'm confused. Are we eating the Tupperware?
Stimulate your senses...host a Take 5..Indulge Yourself party in your own home! Discover the tantalizing flavors, look and aroma of an all - NEW Tupperware. This unique, interactive party is your opportunity to see, taste and experience the new Tupperware lifestyle - amazing products, delicious recipes and smart, simple solutions. Fresh has never been so much fun!"
This is wrong on oh-so-many levels. Firstly, and not least of which, the words "Tupperware" and "party" should never, ever, under any circumstance, be used in conjunction. Secondly, if one wanted Tupperware, why wouldn't one then go to Kmart and pick up a giant 30-piece set for like, $14.99? Thirdly, why would one invite those who are interested in "partying" in the name of Tupperware into their home? Fourthly, jdskfjiawejffkdsfkdjf?? Fifthly, how are we related? Sixthly, (oh apparently sixthly is indeed a word) seriously, how are we related?
Thank God I was a) not even invited and b) live far enough away to be excused. Sweet Lord Jesus Christ that type of shit is my worst nightmare. A room full of chatty, bubbly, annoying women and Tupperware. I could gouge my eyes out just thinking about it. And it's not that I'm too cool or whatever. I'm a totes nerdy loner (loser?) when I want/need to be. It's just that well, I plainly don't understand how anyone could see that as a good time. But hey, maybe once I burn through the other 2,148,579 better ways I can think of to unwind and spend quality time with friends, I'll be all for it.
3 comments:
You know, just yesterday I was driving past an SUV that had tupperware party advertising on its side, and I was kind of astounded because tupperware parties are something I've always heard of but never really witnessed for myself, or know anyone who has witnessed one. I always figured they were a myth, or don't happen in Australia, or are simply outdated. But this SUV was an expensive/flashy thing, so obviously there's a market out there for it, and this dude had it tapped.
But now at least I know what I can do for my next birthday party. All I need is a cupboard/pantry to put them in, I guess. The advertising you quoted has me SOLD.
Too bad that you live too far away to attend, that would have been an awesome thing to recap.
Now get your facts straight! Its not about pastels. If you wear orange - you get a free prize!
Fuck, maybe my career transition should be towards the world of Tupperware?
The thought of a dude "tapping" the Tupperware market is endlessly amusing to me. Double entendre!
PS if you have a Tupperware bday party I will fly to Australia to attend. And then recap it. On this blog.
Wait, so does this mean you have to wear pastel orange? Is pumpkin-orange out of the question? Would one be considered a rebel (oooh!)if she say, did not wear orange at all?
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